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Pin hostaging

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Pin hostaging

Tabbikat2219

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845
Location
Kentucky
I am finding this pin hostaging is becoming very common. Personally if I agree to a trade I mail when we exchange addresses I really think people who do this unless it is agreed upon should get negative feedback. Just my view on it
 
If they are doing it on purpose, you are right that it is COMPLETELY inappropriate, but sometimes there are other things that pop up. For instance, I owe several people pins right now because my husband fell and hurt his back very badly at the end of last week(4 compressed discs, 2 of them showing signs of arthritis, and several with spurs) and for me to be able to take care of our child(20 months), have school full-time, and work full-time, as well as tend to his needs, I haven't had a spare second to find the pins I need to package up. I keep all of my pins in a bin in their original packaging, so going through them takes time. Like I said, it is not on purpose that this happened. I still feel like a bad trader, but sometimes life just throws curve balls, and I haven't been able to adjust to this one yet.
 
I'm finding this more and more too but it seems to be easy to separate those out who do it on purpose. Most recently i got an email from someone that completely forgot to send their pin and didn't remember until they got mine. They emailed me right away and apologized. In instances like that, no worries! Life gets in the way sometimes, no big deal.

However, if the other person gets my pin and then sends theirs without ever saying a word, then I call them on it. And if they still refuse to say a simple "I'm sorry" or don't respond at all, then I think even more that they did it on purpose and I won't trade with them again. I had one awhile ago and they gave me every excuse under the sun as to why they mailed late and were practically trying to make me feel bad for questioning it but not once did they apologize or take ownership for the mistake. In their mind they did nothing wrong and it wasn't their fault. I don't have much patience for those kind of people. I have messed up before, everyone has. But I always try to at least say I'm sorry for the delay and a few times I have even sent extra pins because I felt bad.
 
If there's proper communication I don't mind if there's a delay...being new to the trading community, if a person has good feedback, I'm not worried about it. I figure they are just being safe in their trades which is understandable due to my lack of feedback.
 
The problem with being "safe" though is that if both parties decide to be "safe" then neither will get their pins and both will think the other is a scammer. Not a good thing.
 
I never intend to hold pins hostage, I often get sidetracked with life at home with a special needs child and work too, i do try and send an extra pin if its been awhile. If someone emails me and asks that helps remind me and i usually get the pin out asap! I wish i could predict when tantrums and problems will occur but i never know. so please if we have a trade and the pin is late just send me a note before judging me as a hostagetaker!
 
I understand when things come up but this trader ADMITTED IN AN EMAIL when I asked where the pin was. Well I hold my pins till the other one arrives. I found this just horrible. I fianlly just told her to send my pin back. I was interested anymore.
 
Yeah....that's rude. She should have told you ahead of time and allowed you to decide if you still wanted to trade.
 
OK, here it is!
I have traded with Tabbi and she had very few referrals, However, I felt good about the trade because of communication and am always willing to take a chance. Point being, If I agree to trade, I mail immediatly because I have made the commitment.

I also remember when I had ZERO referrals and had to start somewhere, there is always someone who has a good heart and a little trust (Thank you JUDY) and will do a trade.

Now, on the other hand, communication is the key to success. There was a trader who wanted a LE100 pin I had and they had ZERO referrals. I explained to them with all due respect that it is difficult to sent to a person with no referrals, however, here is a deal. I have over 150 referrals so hopefully you know I am an honest trader, and of course you really want the pin I have. Mail to me, and upon receipt of the pin, I will immediatly mail yours. THIS WAS AGREED UPON IN ADVANCE.

Now for PIN HOSTAGES. They are people who if they make a trade, should have trust but the wait until they get your pin even though they say they will mail on the same day to make sure they get theirs and then send yours. I hate it when they lie. I had a person agree with me that we will both mail on Tuesday. I actually mailed my on Monday because I had time to get to the PO and used DC too. Their pin had not arrived in the normal amount of time. We both agreed to use DC and the amazing thisg is they swore they sent it as promised. My pin arrived to them on Thursday at 2:45pm and their pin was sent at 3:30pm the same day. That sucks.

If you agree, send the pin otherwise, communicate and be honest. The trade can still happen. I also agree that this should be listed in the feedback, but then what happens is one of the people does everything as promised, perfect packing and verything and the person who did not can leave bad feedback out of spite. So what do you do then? I still say call it like it is. Once you have established yourself, people know and trust you. Here is a perfect example. Sorry to use you Judy but I will throw Tabbi in there too.

Judy has done 1000's of trades, is the queen of WRAP and if I ever saw a negative comment, I would know someone is doing this just to hurt her, as an example, maybe Judy left them poor and deserved feedback. Jusy has a reputation that I hope to have one day so my point is, most of thesepeople are newer traders, although there are always exceptions to the rule and some jaded seasined traders can pull the same stunt.

Cal it like it is. That is what feedback is for. One last suggestion. If someones packing is not up to par, maybe contact them directly and explain to them as they may not know better and give them a chance to make a correction.

Theres my 3 cents (cause i can never just give 2)
 
I use PayPal's online postage. Delivery confirmation is only 18 cents. I will not ever send a package without it. 18 cents is cheap for a little extra piece of mind. When you print the label, an email is immediately sent to you with the confirmation number. I then send an email to my trading partner saying the package has been sent and here's your confirmation number. Now, I don't do an enormous amount of trading, but I haven't experienced much in the way of hostaging of pins with this setup.
 
Always mail within 48 hours regardless of where in the world - never had a trade problem. I usually check the feedback just for a little peace of mind, but I'vefound every trader totally 100% honest!!
 
The best is when someone tells you your pin was sent right away... Only to arrive to you in the same little brown envelope you sent the traders pin in. Has happened to me 2 times.
 
I once had someone swear to me that they sent it out right after we agreed to the trade and when I pointed out that the date on the postage was much later they insisted that the post office must have made a mistake!!! Sometimes I think that people don't really "get" what others can see....
 
Judy, I always tell people your pins can withstand a BOMB BLAST, Tornado, flood, ran over by stampeeding bulls.
Hey everyone, thats why she is the "QUEEN OF WRAP"

But yes, some people just tell such horrible lies that we can tell their not speaking the truth.
Sometimes I wish they would just be honest. I guess I should be happy because I have only not received 1 pin in all of the trades I have done and yes, 99% of the people I have traded with are good traders. But it only takes one bad trade to ruin your day.

Here is another hot tip. Everyone on the boards is pretty cool. If on pinpics you se a pin you want and are not sure of the trder, email a few of the people on their referral. Remember, the PinPics referral just means you got the pin, it does not tell the story. I will ask the last 3 traders and address itlike this.

Hello, I am sorry to bother you but I just wanted to see how your trading experience was with this person (XXXXXXXX) did they ship as promised, pins in good condition, packing good?

I thank you in advance for your time and help.

Have a great day.......

Never hurts to check first. And as mentioned in maybe this post, if its a really valuable pin, ask for pictures front, side and back. Not a pinpics pic and then what you get has dips, chips and a dull finish.
 
In my opinion, there are only two acceptable reasons to delay in sending out a pin ... but both of them require upfront and open communication between the two traders.

1. You agree, before any pins are sent, (usually because one of the traders is new and has few-to-no references) that one traders will send his or her pins first and once the pins are received, the second package will be sent out.

2. Sometimes real life gets in the way of the best intentions to get a pin out. You develop a migraine, you get into a car accident or get a flat tire, you have to take your sick child to the doctor, your husband requires a trip to the emergency room, etc ... and you just can't make it to the post office that day. But guess what: nothing happened to your internet connection ... and how long does it take to send out a quick email saying 'I'm sorry, I meant to get to the post office and I promise I will mail out your pin still, but _______ (fill in the blank with your situation) happened, my life is in chaos, and I just couldn't do it. I will get it done by ______ (provide a reasonable time to get the package mailed)' - and make sure you do it. I don't think people are unreasonable and will understand when circumstances like that happen as they know it could happen to them. What I think they find upsetting is when the pin doesn't arrive and there is no communication (I know that's what would upset me).

As an alternative, if people are so concerned about not getting pins that they are holding them hostage until the other package has been received, may I suggest using a third party trade? For those who don't know, a third party trade is where both people mail their pins (at the same time) to a neutral third party (usually a moderator, but it doesn't have to be). Once the third party has received both pins, he or she will confirm that they are the agreed-upon pins, repackage them, and send them on to their new homes. This method of trade usually is reserved for higher-to-high end trades, but it also has been done for parties where one has few-to-no references and doesn't like the idea of sending out his/her package first. If people are concerned that holding pins hostage may be an issue, a third party trade may resolve it; if the third party doesn't receive both sets of pins, the trade won't happen and the pins go back to their original homes.
 
I know this is a little OT, but how does Paypal postage work? I've always been interested in it, but never knew how people knew how much to put.

It seems that it would be much easier to always have delivery confirmation for 18 cents rather than 82 cents.

I have forgotten to mail a pin when real life, migraine, hospital, etc has gotten in the way. I try to email and tell the person and then get the pin out ASAP. I've even taught my mom how to pack and mail a pin... lol.
 
I know this is a little OT, but how does Paypal postage work? I've always been interested in it, but never knew how people knew how much to put.

It seems that it would be much easier to always have delivery confirmation for 18 cents rather than 82 cents.

I have forgotten to mail a pin when real life, migraine, hospital, etc has gotten in the way. I try to email and tell the person and then get the pin out ASAP. I've even taught my mom how to pack and mail a pin... lol.
Just go to paypal.com sign in and then on the right side click on
  • Multi-order Shipping you can also find it under account services! then it bring up another page and click on multi order shipping and you click on create your own. i then copy and paste from a file in trades accepted all the info . easy to do!
 
Just go to paypal.com sign in and then on the right side click on
  • Multi-order Shipping you can also find it under account services! then it bring up another page and click on multi order shipping and you click on create your own. i then copy and paste from a file in trades accepted all the info . easy to do!

I've always gotten hung up when it asks for weight... I don't have a scale, nor do I ship enough to justify getting one, so in the past I have just taken a guess (on the high side) and it has worked out fine. I don't really like doing that though....plus, I don't have a printer at home so I would always have to do it at work. For me it is just easier to stop by the post office and use the kiosks, even if DC is a little more expensive.
 
One trader very much insulted me when they told me to "go ahead and send your pins first" even though I have dozens of references and the trade was pretty high-profile. Needless to say, I never responded back.
 
Here is a good one I will tell that Tiki shared with me.
He sent his pin and not only did the othe person wait to send theirs, they used his envelope after they opened it to send the pin back.
Not even trying to hide the fact they waited.

Maybe they are hard core recyclers...lol
Now thats bad!
 
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