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ZAPPED! A list of pin traders in Port Royal, CA! WE HAVE A ZAPPER HIDING THERE!

ZAPPED! A list of pin traders in Port Royal, CA! WE HAVE A ZAPPER HIDING THERE!

kupo1121

Master Pin Synthesizer
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Wherever I am right now...
This is an urgent matter and therefore will be taken as the serious atrocity it is! NO IMAGES! NO GIFS! JUST PLAIN, HARD TRUTH!

In a constant effort to weed out all zappers that hide out in these forums, polluting the very concept of "trading" I have put myself in the line of fire and have been directly hit by some person on these forums. You may have noticed that as of late, there is a lack of a certain pin in my signature.

The reason being that naught but a few days ago, I woke up to find a mysterious package placed on my dining room table that eerily described my name upon it. I was in the midst of making numerous trades but none had been solidified, SO HOW COULD SOMEONE HAVE SENT ME A PACKAGE?!?!?

Immediately many things raced through my mind: could it be a bomb? A prank can of soda that would explode among opening it? A late package from Santa filled with coal (no, I couldn't be...I got good grades in school, I'm sure of it!)? A late Christmas gift? A secret admirer? NO!!! My face slowly started to grow into an lighter, paler shade of green. The type of green you only see in someone who is about to regurgitate the very food they ingested last night for dinner (which was chicken and potatoes), the very face of...DISGUST! I knew what it was...

Almost immediately I placed the package back on the dining room table, walked over to my mother and gave her a big hug, I told her how much I loved her and I gave her the biggest hug I can remember. I told my brother my fondest memories of us together, when we used to laugh like the world didn't matter, like pins didn't exist...like there wasn't war among these forums!

I walked to my room with the package tucked under my arm, ready for whatever was about to come. Once in my room, I put on my bullet-proof vest (in case of any flying shrapnel), my eye goggles, and my fanciest tie (gotta look good at least). I then proceeded to open the package with the utmost care, thoughts flying through my mind:

"What godforsaken thing could be within this small package?
Why was I chosen to receive it?
Did the person know I was opening it up as I opened it?
What day was today?
What time was it?
Why was I up so early?
I knew I should have gone to the bathroom, this package is taking too long to open up
Now I really have to go...
Wow, that water I drank last night just went straight through me.
I can't take it, I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

(short intermission from the story...I went to the bathroom)

After I returned, I continued meticulously prying open the delicate yellow package and once I did, what I feared most fell out...BUBBLE WRAP! You see, bubble wrap is only used to protect things which otherwise could be harmed, things that are delicate, fragile, and can be scratched, things like...PINS!!!

Yet, on top of the bubble wrap was attached a note. A note someone wrote mocking me, it said something in light of:

"I know this is not Little Mermaid, but I hope it will do!
- V"

MOCKERY! In my last moments they dare mock me! HOW INHUMANE! HOW CRUEL! HOW SADISTIC! I was playing a game with a real demon, a cruel beast of which I was not prepared! They did not only have intent to destroy my signature, THEY LOVED IT! THEY RELISHED IN KNOWING ALL MY HARD WORK PASTING AND EDITING THAT IMAGE WOULD BE WASTED IN MERE SECONDS! I removed the post-it and found this:

mCABJ0ME_UZJ7dfGRYqQp9g.jpg
(I lied...1 image)

YE FOUL DEMON!!!! I WILL EXACT MY REVENGE!!!

They think they're so smart, mocking me, but fear not fallen signature

tumblr_mau29pcW9R1qcot6r.gif
(okay, a gif too)

This person thinks they have one up on me, but they made one fatal flaw which I will point on right now. For on the top of the package they left out one very important detail...THEIR ADDRESS! It is here that I request the help of all of DPF in hunting down this zapper, they are located somewhere in Port Royal, CA. We must find them, and we must take them out before someone else's signature is badly wounded, NEIGH, massacred!

So on that note, I leave one word of warning...whoever you are out there:

I-Will-Find-You-And-I-Will-Kill-You-Liam-Neeson-In-Taken.gif
 
Congrats Matt. .. great story. If I find out anything I will let you know. Although matt I cannot seem to locate port royal on the map... where did you get that city from?
 
I just went to go look for the package to locate the EXACT address and it's missing!!!! Someone in my family must have sent something out in it! NOOOOO!!!! I really hope I didn't misread it, I swore it said Port Royal on it (I remember thinking about PotC at first) but perhaps I did. The search just got a lot harder BUT I WILL BE AVENGED!!!!
 
Is Port Royal even a real place (in the US I mean)? Or did I read it wrong O_____O

What part of "I am not telling you" did you not understand? :rofl: I have learned there are people who love the spotlight :wat: and there are those who just get joy out of doing something nice for somebody. :suspect: Your suspect is the later type. Leave it at that and be happy with your new siggy!!! :nono:
 
What part of "I am not telling you" did you not understand? :rofl: I have learned there are people who love the spotlight :wat: and there are those who just get joy out of doing something nice for somebody. :suspect: Your suspect is the later type. Leave it at that and be happy with your new siggy!!! :nono:

I may not publicly out this person (even though I should...zappers must be taken out of the equation [/sarcasm]) but I must try and find out...try and hold me back if you dare!!! (kind of lol don't want to make them feel bad haha I do love it xD)
 
Great relaying of the zap Matt!! And congrats on the new pin!! "Don't worry, be happy" and enjoy your PTD pin! Congrats!! And BIG HIGH 5 to the sender of such joy!! :wavey:
 
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