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This annoying, frustrating "non-answering" trend

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This annoying, frustrating "non-answering" trend
Edelwanna

Edelwanna

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Hello,

I'm a French fan of Disney and have been collecting pins for 6 years now. I'm proud of the very little collection I gathered so far, 61 pins, I am really selective. I'm thankful that they are tools like Pinpics to set us in contact with the whole world to exchange pins, because US pins are not easy to get for us Europeans. So don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly aware of the existing opportunities to get pins without spending a lot of money and I'm really happy that I could make successful trades with US traders to get US pins.

BUT there is one thing in this whole pin community that I find difficult to bear, it is the lack of proper communication and respect between traders. Especially when I make demands via Pinpics. That 90% of the traders give no answer to my demands, I got used to it. But what I really don't understand is when a trader answers me, agrees to trade or makes me a counteroffer, even sends me pics of his pins... but then, when I answer and agree... he just doesn't answer anymore and let me wait in vain. As if he had vanished. No "Sorry, i don't want to trade anymore" or "I got a better offer", just NOTHING.
What kind of behaviour is that ? If I would trade with him/her face to face and not behind a computer, would it be the same ? Would he or she just suddenly stop talking to me and walk away ? Could you imagine that ?

In some cases, I gave the trader my name and address, and as soon as he had it, he stopped the correspondance without saying a word. What, because I live in Europe, I'm automatically a scammer ? Only one trader had the honesty to tell me that he didn't wish to trade abroad across the Atlantic, unless I send my pins first, because he had had a bad experience.
I lost count of the number of traders who stopped answering during an on-going trade. I'm so tired of this that I don't even try anymore to send some message to remember him that I am still waiting.

I'm really, really irritated by this behaviour. Above all, by this "non-answering", I find it so disrespectful.
I personnally ALWAYS answer people who send me demands, even if it is "no" and I certainly NEVER will stop an on-going trade by just not answering. Life has more to offer than pin trading (and this is a good thing !), but that does not excuse someone for forgetting the most elementary rules of politeness !

I personnally never had that problem with French traders. By this, I don't mean that US traders are impolite but I wonder why it is the way it is ? Is this often that when you guys in the US are trading with each other, the other suddenly stops the correspondance with you ? Or this is me being too attached to principles ? And why do so many US traders refuse to trade with Europeans ? Is there so much French/English/Belgian scammers ? Because in Europe, pin trading fans are more than happy to have the opportunity to trade with US traders.

Maybe it is not the right place to publish this message, but I had to. I don't mean to insult anyone, I just report my experience and would like to know how people on the other side of the Atlantic feel about this matter. And to tell people who're practicing this "non-answering" : "No, what you do, this isn't right."
 
I'm so sorry you've had this repeated bad experience. Yes, it is rude behavior to not reply to an email. I'm a collector but not a trader myself so I don't have any online trade experiences other than a few pins sent back and forth with some nice people I've met.

I can't imagine why someone wouldn't want a European trade pal because it seems like the whole idea is to be in contact with people who have access to things that you don't.

I can only think that shipping out of country is very expensive and maybe that is why people are reluctant to do it.

Please don't be offended, but your use of the word "demand" would be better replaced by the word "request". "Demand" seems harsh, where "request" is more friendly. Some people might not understand the subtle differences in language.

There are many good pin people here in the U.S. I can easily get OE pins from Disneyland and the Soda Fountain. If you're ever in need of any, PM me and I can get them for you at cost. Good luck with all of your trading! :wavey:
 
There are a number of people who send out TAs, & when you accept one-you never hear back. Pin offer might have been a mistake, or pin traded, or otherwise not available, & you hear NOTHING from them- even if you send a second email asking if pin THEY offered is still available. I find it very annoying too! Even more annoying, the dude who offered me a trade, & when I accepted, he said "no thank you" to the trade HE offered! Sigh :(
 
I used to get that all the time one of the reasons why i stopped trading and am now just collecting. One time i had someone reply about two months after saying did i still want to trade! It seemed like they had a lightbulb moment and remembered they was half way through a trade.

To me the main thing is as soon as I say in from England, 9 times out of 10 the trade is then over. Because in from England im either a scammer or the prices are too high to ship :( but its not like its cheap to send from my side either! I think the last pin i sent was about £7 shipping. So its not like we benefit or have it easier :( ive had someone ask me to add another pin to balance out the price of shipping for them. I thought that was rude.
 
I agree it isn't right for these people to do this. it's most likely due to the shipping costs over seas but if it is then they should email you back and at least explain this to you. I feel that shipping one low end pin over seas really isn't worth shipping costs but I will try to make the trade into a multi pin trade so that it makes it worth the shipping costs.
 
I agree that it certainly is rude to stop replying mid-trade. I don't send requests out but when I get them I always make sure to reply, even if just to politely decline. If I felt the need to stop a trade partway through, I'd explain, not just stop answering! It's simply bad manners.

That said, it's not impossible to trade overseas. The best thing is to try and do repeat trades and set up an established buddy over there. I did one trade with someone in SoCal, and the next time something was coming out in the UK that they were looking for, we set up another trade. Now we're at the point that I keep an eye out for things they might want, and they do the same for me, so we help each other out. Obviously I know it won't just magically happen and I did go through a lot of people who didn't want to trade internationally, or just didn't reply same as you've had, but I hope that you too will stumble across someone who will be your international trading buddy. There are good traders out there, it just takes a while to find them! Best of luck with it all and I hope that this thread might remind those people who do stop replying that doing so is not good practice.
 
I do understand your frustration. I do live in the US. I have a designated folder in my e-mail account for pending trades. I have a subfolder titled "No further response." Sadly, I had to make this folder, as there were too many occasions where a trade was agreed upon, I sent my address and then never heard back from the other trader, nor did they reply with their address. It is frustrating.

I do have to admit, I do not reply to all initial PinPics requests. Everyday I get an average of about 10 requests. Many of them are the following: "other trader offers (1) hidden mickey pin for your LE 200 pin." No mention of being open to other offers or trading multiple pins. I used to take the time to look to see what such traders had in their collection, but then I thought, if you have better and more equitable pins to offer, why send a request for a hidden mickey pin? When i submit trade requests, which is now infrequent, I try and make the trade request as equitable as possible. I do trade for hidden mickey pins, and have traded LE pins for a certain number of hidden mickey pins. The issue is, at least mention that you are willing to trade multiple pins or are open to other offers. Most of the time, when the request is initially reasonable, I do my best to reply with a decline message if I do not wish to trade. I admit, I do not do this 100% of the time. As I mentioned, on average, I get about 8-10 PinPics requests sent to my e-mail (some repeated requests where I have previously sent a decline message), and there are days where its just too much to send the decline message to all requests. Being a full time student and working full time (12 hour shifts), I have limited time. On my days off, I reply to all requests. On the days where I am working and going to school, I may not reply to all requests. May not be a reasonable excuse, but it is my rationale.

I am willing to trade outside of the country. My PinPics account is Nesspin12. Please take a look and perhaps we can establish a trade.
 
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Re: the "no trade with Europe" thing...

I, personally, haven't had any bad experiences trading overseas. But I can see where some traders would be concerned- in addition to the extra expense, it's also more likely to go missing, and...most importantly, there are fewer avenues of recourse if something does go wrong.

I think old timers are more likely to do it than new traders, mostly because a lot of us were around for the "several LBEs a day" phase of pin trading, when online trading was where it was at and we were all sending out things left and right. We were more use to putting ourselves out there and trying new traders. Now, cost is high for shipping, and people are super protective of the future potential of their pins.

But anyway...I have trusted traders in both Hong Kong and Tokyo that I trade with every other month, and I'm *still* worried one of those things are going to go missing...it's just such a long trip.
 
You're not the only who finds a lack of response frustrating and rude. I don't have any answers for you other than to say if you'd ever like to trade with me, I promise to respond. :)
 
I used to be annoyed by the lack of replies on PinPics, but recently someone sent me a trade request, and when I went to the site to respond, it didn't exist. I got an e-mail alerting me, but there was nothing on the site to show that I had any active requests or anyone to reply to. It was weird, and now I wonder if the same has been true for other requests I've sent out.

However, someone just dropping the conversation when you're already been e-mailing is so rude! There's no excuse for that.
 
Sorry for your bad experience. I have gone though that myself. But I have gotten lucky and made some trades on pinpics. Some people response and others dont. What is weird to me is you send then something they actually want that is otherwise a very fair trade and still not response. Anyway. is what it is. Again. sometimes you get lucky and I hope you do so that you see not everyone is non-responsive...
 
Thanks all for your feedback.
So far, I did two successful trades with US traders, that's all, for dozens of interrupted on-going trades :/
But it's nice too see you think the same way.
I think I can understand people not answering simple trade requests. Pin Trading is not the only thing in people's life.
But dropping an on-going trade without saying a word, no way !
 
I agree about stopping conversation mid-trade. That is definitely not a good way to treat people. I can understand not replying to trade requests in the first place as I am guilty of this myself but if you are in negotiations and have changed your mind, it really is just common courtesy to let the other party know this.
 
CoryTheRaven said:
I used to be annoyed by the lack of replies on PinPics, but recently someone sent me a trade request, and when I went to the site to respond, it didn't exist. I got an e-mail alerting me, but there was nothing on the site to show that I had any active requests or anyone to reply to. It was weird.
Click to expand...

This has happened to me the last 3 trade requests I received. I get the email alert but can't find it on PinPics.
 
I would say I get unresponsive people half the time on PinPics so you're not alone. The only real reason why I keep my PinPics is because I love to trade with overseas traders so please don't give up! I love French traders especially, usually so responsive, polite, and on top of things. Most of the time when I buy a pin at DLR, I buy 2 with the hopes of trading with someone from DLRP or TDR for something that I can't get here.
 
I personally only use pin pics to list my pins and I have never traded through that site. I have only traded on this site. I agree though it is very annoying to start a trade and feel it is going well and not get responded to. Trading on here it has never happened to me. And I love to to trade with overseas people.
 
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Like so many have said, it is rude to quit talking mid trade. There is no good excuse. As far as not replying to pinpics requests, if you are using the new version of pinpics I am not surprised at the amount of none responses. The new site does not work properly and I for one don't ever use it. I am guilty of not always replying to old pinpics requests mostly because a lot of them are from newer members who are sending ridiculous requests. I am sorry but if you offer a hidden mickey for an LE pin it does not deserve a reply.

There are many people here who do trade with overseas traders (I am one that loves to do it because that is the only way to get great pins from overseas). Sometimes you just have to ask around. Feel free to pm me if you are interested in trading.
 
Don't worry, this happens to me too. They say sure to the trade just send your address and I say I am in Canada and 99% of the time I don't get a response back. The odd time we do a trade luckily! It drives me nuts so now I don't do much trading besides at the park...
 
Eeesh. :(

I'm so sorry you've had all these bad experiences.

You are 100% right. Non-answering is just rude, and inexcusable, especially in the middle of a trade arrangement.

As far as PinPics go, I think you're lucky that 10% of the people you write to respond! :lol: No one responds to my offers on PinPics! I have a lot more luck when I send requests (in the form of private messages) directly to people on DPF. Have you ever tried doing that? I know there are a number of people here who are happy to trade overseas - myself included.

P.S. In my experience, European traders do tend to have better manners than traders from the US... (And I'm from the US!) Maybe I should move to your side of the world... I think I'd get along with people better. ;)
 
I make my requests with old Pinpics, since with the new one, traders seem not receive the requests in their mailbox.
Generally, I think we should have more place to write a message additionnally to the trade requests and this message should appear clearly in the mail that the trader receives. Because I sometimes make what seems an ridiculous request : for exemple I recently offered the Gaway Mother Gothel from the Pin Event in DLRP for the PTN Elsa. I'm perfectly aware that it is ridiculous, but this is because I'm trying to go on a multitrade with someone, even if I have very few chances to succeed (especially with this pin - but I know French people who succeeded !). I write it too in my request, that I wish to do trade several pins for one and invite people to check my traders. But with a limit of 60 characters for the note, I have no chance to explain clearly what my intend is. And anyway, most of traders won't see this note as they get the request...
sorapandora : I think you're right, I will try to send private messages to people here in DPF. Maybe I will have more luck.
 
For the record, I live in the US. Some US traders STOP replying AFTER sending out TA's & they get my reply!! :( luckily many folks do reply to my response, & I've made lots of nice trades via PP TA. :)
 
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