Auction Ended: A Grim Bag-O-Crap Auction - WINNER ANNOUNCED!

Story is at last ready to unveil her totally awesome show stopping bid. It is a bid of multiple awesomeness, and of things that *only* a bag of crap would be worthy of.
Awesome Item #1

This pin meets the criteria "Preference will be given to... random characters not many people collect." ... Now, I know what you are thinking, "But Story, not so! Stitch is certainly a character many people collect!". This is where I'd like to add that this pin is only commonly known as Stitch from Pin 12882: Pin 3 of 4 of Lilo & Stitch Pin Set (Spain). But, he is in fact Buttons!
Buttons is Stitch's lesser known experiment brother. So much lesser known that he is not even numbered as one of the previous 625 experiments before Stitch. He was just the experiment that kind of wandered off when Dr. Jumba wasn't looking. He has tried to make it as a musician, but alas! His identical twin brother's over popularity has left him quite ignored. When people see him they only mistake him for Stitch, and thus Stitch gets all the credit for his musical genius.
I am offering him here as I have decided to help him in his quests for finding a home that will love him as Buttons and not as Stitch. (I would house that home for him but... er... I like Stitch better... Yeah, we aren't on speaking terms...)
Awesome Item #2

This is The Battered Unicorn. This Unicorn was recently discovered as the sole survivor of the Rainbows and Glitter War occuring last Tuesday. If you were to ask me what happens in a Rainbows and Glitter War, I dare not say. And I mainly dare not say because, well, there were no other survivors, and this Unicorn gets pretty angry when I try to ask him about it. Because he is the sole survivor, that makes him pretty rare and special, no?
Awesome Item #3

This is the Lanyard O' Happiness. This lanyard is said to expend happiness to those who wear it. Is this true? I do not know. I've never worn it.

Well, that is my bid. I hope it will be considered in all seriousness with no seriousness to those seriously considering this less than serious bid. (Please note that Story isn't sure whether or not the previous sentence was suppose to make sense. She'll get back to you on it once her coffee has kicked in).
I do leave you with this one all important point: Box is not included.
Thank you, and adieu. =)
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