Advice please on weird trade situation (long)

[lwrn2]

Hi all,

I would really appreciate advice in this trading situation I am now muddled in. I got a bunch of trade requests from the same person, accepted the trade and got no answer for 2-3 days, so I assume that's a "no." In the meantime, I traded with someone else for the pin the first trader had offered.

Then the first trader replied to say "yes, let's trade" and I replied nicely, saying I was sorry, but since I hadn't heard back, I made another trade and no longer needed their pin (one of the DSF Pixar shorts pins).

Then Trader says they are going to DSF over the weekend and offers to look for other Pixar Shorts pins on my wants list because they really want to trade for the pin I still have.

I replied that it was very nice, but not to make a special trip on my account. I said I would hold onto my pin until Sunday (when they said they would know) and for them to email me one way or another. I stressed again, PLEASE don't go out of your way for me.

That part was no big deal--I didn't get any other trade requests for the pin they wanted, no problems. It was a very nice offer on the trader's part, above and beyond, I thought. Was happy to hold off and wait.

Then trader emails me back saying they were able to find one of the pins on my wants list but not any others and would I want duplicates. This was supposed to be a two for two trade so instead of pin A and B, I would be getting 2 of pin A.

I accept, figuring instead of trading for 2 keepers, I am just trading for 1 keeper and 1 trader, no problem, and it was very nice of the person to go look for pins for me. I sent my address and said "please let me know if you still want to trade and send your address." This was on Jan. 31st

Now I hear nothing back; figure they have made a different trade after all that. Oh well.

Then I get yet another, different, trade request from same person offering me pin A again for a DIFFERENT pin of mine. ???

I write back and again, nicely say "HI, we had a trade set up, if you want to make a new one, please email me and we'll go from there." This was on Feb. 2nd

No answer. Days go by. (shrug) I write the whole thing off.

Then last weekend, I make a completely different trade and get all the rest of my Pixar shorts pins (woo hoo!)

Then lo and behold, first Trader writes back yesterday, Feb. 8 saying "hi, my computer was down, YES, let's make that trade!"

I replied again politely saying "I'm really sorry, but I never heard back from you; it's been over a week and I have already traded for the pins you were offering since I never heard a confirmation from you."

I did say I still had the pin they wanted and if they got more traders (they only have 5 or 6 and I have already traded for the ones I wanted) I would be happy to try again in the future and thanks anyway.

The kicker: I get this email from them this morning that says "Yes I understand, but I have already mailed my pins to you. Will you please mail them back?"

!!!

WTH??! I am so annoyed! Why would anyone DO that??!! Never write back 3 words to say "Yes, I accept" and then send pins ANYWAY after a week has gone by with no communication??!

OF COURSE I will send them back because it would be stealing to keep them, but I SO am resenting having to pay that postage. I know it is only $2 or so but it is rubbing me the wrong way.

I went and looked again at their pins, but they have nothing else on my wants list and I don't want to trade for pins I don't even want. I feel forced into this.

I so want to write back and ask "why did you send pins to me without confirming the trade?!" Or ask for postage, something! Am I being overly petty? Do I have an obligation to trade with them?

Thanks for any insight! Mostly I want to get over my grumpiness about the whole thing!

Laura (lwrn2)

 

[tiggermickey]

Laura
That is annoying...Did he have proof he sent those?like DC number
He could be or not pulling your leg so you would trade with him
Sounds kinda weird to me

 

[halloweenfiend]

Sounds like it may be a kid. That being said, I wouldn't accept any further trades from them. And when the package arrives - refuse delivery. I believe (someone correct me if I'm wrong) that the package would be returned without you incurring the charges.

 

[erudolf]

I'd be annoyed too. I find that some people will try to get you on the hook and then stall while they look for a better deal. I especailly find this with sales. They will say they are sooooo very interested and then hunt elsewhere thinking you will hold it for them and then they never come back to complete the transaction.

I think you did everything just fine. Had the person even provided their address ever??? Can you possibly send them back collect? I've never sent anything that way so I'm not sure how that works... If you can't, I don't see anything wrong for asking them to pay you for the postage. It is their fault.

 

[Sampster]

i know in the uk you can put on it not known at this address return to sender and no charge if there is a return address that is, just dont open it

 

[JAllenWood]

Yeah, I would have wrote "Return to sender" and just put it back in the mail. That is, if it was still unopened. But that whole situation would have annoyed the crap out of me too.

 

[PinKitten]

if nothing else, i would DEFINITELY write back saying what you said, "Why did you send the pins without final confirmation on both sides of the trade??" This was not fair on their part, especially since they keep taking forever to get back to you, meanwhile, you are making trades for the pins you want with others who ARE getting back to you in a timely manner. I personally also think they should either refund you the postage, but if nothing else, at least email them.

 

[PinKitten]

and yes, if you haven't gotten the pins yet, when you do, just refuse delivery of them and have them Return to Sender, that way you won't be charged for return postage.

 

[tiggermickey]

Yeppum,just refuse it..I would definetly do that

 

[jjgasman]

I would certainly refuse the pins, but also use the experience to educate the other person as to his/her missteps in the trade so they don't do it again (hopefully). This will allow you to vent while still being constructive. BTW...what is his/her Pinpics ID, lol?

 

[bfogartyjr]

"Item refused; return to sender." Don't open the package, mark it up and send it back.

 

[Gloomy]

I so want to write back and ask "why did you send pins to me without confirming the trade?!"

They probably did it because those pins are in the discount bin at the DSF right now, and they were reeeeeeally hoping you'd do the trade.

As others have said, just write "return to sender" on it and toss it back in the mail when it arrives.

-JD

 

[Aveen2010]

Hey, I would be annoyed also, especially as 2 days after you asked for confirmation of the trade their computer was ok for them to actually send a totally different request to you for a different trade, so in part i think they lied about their computer even being broken. I would also refuse postage, you definately are not obliged to trade anything with this person just because they decided to be careless with their pins.

I am sorry you had this experience, it sounds annoying but i am glad you managed to get the pixar short pins you wanted in another trade from somene more reliable

Aveen x

 

[carolynhill]

Wow, that is a weird one. I can see why you need to vent! That person wasted your time and energy.

 

[Donnam]

Be sure to mark out your address when you put "return to sender" on the package. I had an experience like that several months ago and the envelope kept coming back to me. Good luck with it!

 

[scottydem]

I wouldn't be annoyed. Things happen. It's life. Don't hold a grudge. If he had no way of emailing you back then he probably wasn't lying because he really did make the trade lol and if your address was given and his address was given then asking for a confirmation after all this is sometimes confusing.


Pin trading over the Internet isn't the smoothest process haha

 

[caligirlUCR]

Be sure to mark out your address when you put "return to sender" on the package. I had an experience like that several months ago and the envelope kept coming back to me. Good luck with it!

Hmmmm I guess its an honest mistake - maybe their computer was down. But it is pretty interesting that they mailed it with out confirming . . . but at least you got the pins you wanted. I would return to sender that way you don't have to pay postage, but yes - make sure to cross out your address I had a package re-delivered to me twice even though I wrote return to sender!!!!

 

[lwrn2]

Thank you everyone for all the great advice and commiseration! I really appreciate your messages--my RL friends are glazing over by the time I get to "and then, they wanted #547729" and I'm having to chase them down hallways going "wait! Wait! but then I found an LE..." LOL

The package showed up today!! So clearly intentions were good, just so confusing & irritating all around. I am going to try the cross out address/mark return to sender thing and see how that goes. Thanks for the idea; I wouldn't have thought of it!

@Gloomy: (still drooling over thought of DSF discount bin...)

@Cristina: Yes, you're right & I will write back--now that I am not as p.o.'d and can express myself with simple declarative sentences with no profanity.

@Carolyn: EXACTLY! Total waste of time.

@ Scotty, maybe I used the word "confirm" wrong. This trader never sent me their address in all the back and forth. I gave mine and said "if you still want to trade, please send me your address & confirm". Then I would hear nothing for days at a time, and figure it was off. Then get another message/offer, but never an address for me to send to. Then 2 days ago, it's all of a sudden "Yes, here's my address and I want to trade and I just mailed yours." If they never gave me their address and no reply for 8 days, how could I mail their pins out? That's what was irritating--to have this totally useless communication for 10 days and never be sure the trade was on, but now be in the position of returning the package to them. Waste of time! But yes, you're right, it's just life and I promise not to hold a grudge.


I am going to try the Refuse/Return to sender thing and see how that goes. THANK YOU again for the shoulder to moan and vent on! You guys are the best.

Laura--who does not live here and refuses unwanted pins

 

[scottydem]

Okay then yea I'd be frustrated too hahaha but still I wouldn't be mad. It's just pins. Life's short, why add stress when not needed? akuna matata