Do you feel guilty saying no to a trade?

[broncobilly83]

Just something I have been mulling over the last month since we got back from WDW. Since I took the time to update my traders, every couple of days or so, I get a pin trade request offering me something like a Hidden Mickey Villain Bowling Pin, or one of the Hidden Mickey Silhouette Pins in exchange for something like one of the MNSSHP pins. The first couple of times I tried to discuss that to me, it was not an equal trade and I was told "You had to buy pins to trade pins", so I bought a pin for the purpose of trading, why not trade it for one on my want list?

At this point, I just politely refuse a trade, especially as it is the same couple of pin traders every couple of days

 

[Nettiejeanne]

I've been getting those same kind of trade requests, too. I just say "no thank you" and leave it at that. I wish I was getting good offers, but the good offers are only coming from here... not from the TA! I do feel bad, but what can you do?

 

[Tarzangoofster]

A lot of times if I don't like the offer I will just say no thanks and it doesn't really bother me since I get told no all the time and people have every right to say no. But sometimes if I get an offer where for instance it will say "So and So offers you this, this, or this, for your one specific pin" and I don't like the choices, I'll look at their traders and give a counteroffer, since they're obviously looking to get that one pin from me. It gives the trade more of a chance of happening than just saying NO when they may have something else that just wasnt on my wants for whatever reason.

 

[Tabbikat2219]

I agree when I get a trade offer that isnt exactly fair I will either say no thank you of I will counter offer. Then there are times I know that what they are offering isnt fair but if its a pin I really want sometimes I will go ahead and trade. What irks me is when I get refusals that are rude. If I decline an offer I am polite about it.

 

[erudolf]

That is exactly why I don't usually respond to trade requests that I'm not interested in. I feel bad saying "no" because I feel like I'm telling them that their pins aren't good enough. And I don't like getting "no" emails either so I don't want to do that to someone else.

I'll sometimes try and look to see if they have something else I'd be interested in but the outcome of that is usually one of the following:

1) They just don't have anything I want or anything I could use as a good trader or

2) They have stuff I'd want but didn't offer it which, depending on the person, tells me that they knew better and are probably just looking to trade up.

It isn't as bad on the internet but the first few times I traded in person I felt almost obligated to trade. Or there were times that I felt bad....but I decided that I needed to get over that because I ended up getting the raw end of the deal when that happened. I realized that some people will make it appear as though they have nothing when in reality that is just what they are showing you. They may very well have a secret stash or a massive collection at home. People will take advantage of a kind heart.....

If if feel pretty good about the person and see that they are really just starting out I'll help. But, when a "new" person's wants list consists entirely of difficult pins....then I start to wonder....and if as time goes by that person still never seems to have anything good to offer then I stay away. I absolutely understand that it is difficult when you are starting out, but if someone is unwilling to put in the time/effort/dollars to build up their traders and is routinely looking for a handout, then I don't sympathize much.

 

[RIDisneyPinGuy]

I sometimes feel bad, because a trade may be a fair trade, just not what I am looking for at the time. On the whole though, if the trade is not right for you, don't do it.

Trading can get frustrating at times, either because of lopsided trade requests, or traders wanting unralistic pins in return for your wants. The hardest thing is, however, when you check the wants of people who have a pin you are searching for, you go out of your way to buy/trade for a comparable pin off their wants, and you still cannot make the trade.

You just have to shake it off though, and realize if it was ment to be, the pin will find it's way to you. Sometimes it's easier just to buy that pin you are dying for, other times the trades just fall into place.

No matter what, have fun. Because in the end, that's what it's all about!

 

[miss.mouse]

I always feel very guilty when i reject a trade... :\
makes me feel bad. but if i dont want that pin what can i do?.

 

[SimbaNala]

When someone offers me a pin like a hidden mickey for a limited I have, I will always look over their trade list before telling them no. Sometimes I find something else that's more even in value, or sometimes I'll find a couple pins I feel is about the same as whatever they wanted from me. If I make them that offer, and they tell me no, it's okay.

Same as if I just simply tell them no, I don't feel I'm saying their pins are worthless. To me, it's just what they want and what they offer are close enough to warrent trading. Now, if it's a grail of mine, I'm more willing to bend what I'll trade for it.

It's all depends. I've been turned down for lots of trades, but it just isn't my time to get the pin, but I will. I don't any of us should feel guility for saying no to a trade.

 

[carolynhill]

I say, "Thank you for the offer, but I will pass." Actually, I always said that, but now I've turned the trade assistant off and removed every pin from my trade list.

An occasional unbalanced offer is okay, but I kept getting a series of unbalanced offers from the same people, who were probably just sending requests broadside to everyone they could, fishing to see who might bite. After a while, I stopped even saying to those people "Thank you for the offer, but I will pass." I figured they didn't care.

(I sound curmudgeonly here. Oh well.)

 

[iamdisneydan]

I get it both ways.
As we have previously discussed, everyone has a different value for their pins.
I know the feeling. I waited sonce 2:00am at the DSF event and those pins took a lot of my time and effort to get. Although, I have way harder pins that I have traded easier because they were easy to get.

I always offer pins to whoever and sometimes its fair, sometimes it may not be to them but you never know. I have had people trade me Really nice pins for what I consider a nothing pin, but to them it ws something. I have also had people like in one of my other post who wanted 5 of my pins for a certain pin, I waited and the next person who had it traded for one of the pins the person who wanted five asked for.

Dont feel bad saying no. many peple would like to at least have a response. I appreciate when people politely tell me they will pass. I may even be the person this post is about, however, I have also had many people accept my trade offers too.

It never hurts to ask. What do you do when you are at the park trading and this happens, do you just ignore the person and act like they are not there? You politely decline.

 

[Jacqui8374]

Ive got t I really dont have a problem saying no my biggest problems come from dlrp pin trading night pins and just sometimes thats good for a laughhe same problem with mnssp

 

[erudolf]

Ive got t I really dont have a problem saying no my biggest problems come from dlrp pin trading night pins and just sometimes thats good for a laughhe same problem with mnssp

I think that works both ways too though. I collect the PTN pins so I've seen some trade requests offering them up and sometimes what people want for them is good for a laugh too. They are LE 400 pins and yet some people treat them like they are made of gold the moment they are released. I have been fortunate enough to find a couple of people that I work well with but sometimes I find that people want to value their PTN pins at market value but whatever you have to offer at cost. If someone offers me two PTN pins for something that would cost me $70 to buy....why would I do that? If that is the case I might as well just buy the two PTN pins I want and come out to the same place a lot easier. The last PTN pin was 10.90 Euros so that is, what, $15 USD? About the same as a regular Disneystore.com pin. So, if someone wants a new Disneystore.com pin in exchange for their new PTN pin, that seems fair to me. Market values will do what they will after that. But if someone wants two new Disneystore.com pins for their one new PTN pin, not so much. I'll just buy what I want if that is the case.

I understand that certain pins will appreciate more than others over time and when that happens the whole acquisition cost thing starts to fall apart. But aside from some of the earlier hard to find ones, the average market value of most PTN pins is $30-$40 depending on the character. So, when I trade for them I will trade a market value of $30-$40 worth of my pins and it may or may not have cost me $15 to get them.

Now, have I sent out lopsided requests? Of course! Editing the trade requests can be a royal pain and sometimes I just don't do it. Or, sometimes I'm just offering whatever I can just to get the person to respond to me. I may not have anything on their wants list, but I have good pins and they might see something they like if they just take a look.

When all is said and done, this is how I see it:

1) You can't take what the TA set up literally! It doesn't always come up with the best matches so you have got to be willing to work with the other person to reach an agreement.

2) However you value pins, you need to treat both parties the same. Valuing one party's pins at market value and the other party's pins at acquisition cost most likely will not work. And saying that you value on LE only and ask for their $50 market value LE 250 for your $10 market value LE 250 isn't typically going to work either...

3) Consider the other party's source. If what you are asking for is a newly released pin that you know the person probably paid the same amount you did to get the pin, is it really appropriate to ask for more? The flipside works too....maybe the pins they got went on sale so they can get them cheaper and it is ok to ask for two....it all depends on the situation.

4) Be a participant in the negotiation. It is not fair to sit back and tell someone to look at your wants and make an offer and then when they do and you don't like it just say no. Trading is a two-way street and both parties need to participate. If you don't like it, give a counter offer. And don't always make the other person offer first, that isn't fair either. Nobody like having to make the first offer and it is even worse when the other person's wants list is 10 pages long and they offer no guidance as to what they want.

5) If you just don't see a way for it to work then it is ok to say no. Just don't waste people's time. Don't make someone spend their time putting an offer together just to see what they are willing to put up and then say no with no further input.

 

[redstorm63]

I don't feel guilty saying no to a trade, especially when it's lopsided as some of the ones described here are. If it's something that I feel like I can work on and get it a little more equitable, then that is something I will do. I've had trades where I'm interacting with another trader only to be told that they believe the pin that I bought from Disney was a scrapper. Deals like that have really soured me on the trading experience.

 

[Spiffie]

I would much rather be told a polite No, thank you than ignored. It is very frustrating to be ignored. Before I initiate a trade, I look at the cost of the pin originally, the wants/traders ratio and I also try to offer more than one option. Having said that, I have recently sent out a few trade requests with some of my high end pins (LE 125s) to try and obtain a pin for a great person who has helped me. Not ONE reply! Not one. Very frustrating and rude in my opinion.

On another side, I have had the same person initiate a trade with me 3 times this week. He is asking for the same pins every night but offering me something different. I replied to his first request and told him that I would be happy to complete the trade and we should exchange info. Never responded. Just sent me another request the next night. So this morning, when I got yet another request from him asking for the same pin but offering something different, I just sent a reply telling him that he needs to respond to his original offers to me before I will respond to him any more.

I wish we were allowed to have a thread of names of people like this who initiate threads and never respond. Why should I waste my time if they aren't going to follow up???

 

[Whitney]

Yes, I have huge guilt when I have to say no!

If I can swap for something that is on par though, even if I don't want it, I'll do it just so they get the pin they want and I'm no worse for the wear.

No skin off my nose and they're happy.