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I am very aggravated! Now what?

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I am very aggravated! Now what?
Spiffie

Spiffie

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Okay, so one day last week a PinPics trade request came to me from a girl in Texas. After a couple of emails, we decided on a trade. I mailed my pin out, have DC# and I know it was delivered a few days ago. I haven't received anything. I have emailed her THREE times. She has not responded to any of my emails. She has HUNDREDS of references in the reference center. She has even traded with some people that I know and that I have traded with.

Why are we not allowed to leave negative feedback? I think it is only fair to warn people of bad deals.

I am just so aggravated because I sent her a DSF pin. Not easily obtainable for me. Someone talk me down because I am ready to call it quits here!:sad:
 
You know what, sometimes life happens. If it has only been a few days I wouldn't worry yet. I would give the person a little over a week to respond.
One time I agreed to a trade with this lady and I sent the pin to her and didn't hear anything back for a little while. (I also never got my pin) Turns out she was having roof problems, I dont' remember if it was literally falling in or what, but I just said ok and waited until she could mail my pin. Not her fault.
 
This happend with me and tiggermickey (Judy).
i sent my pin and it never got to her.
just give it a little more time.
 
wow... you need to take 2 or 3 deep breaths and calm down... as a constant trader and father of 4 life almost always gets in the way... i almost never get pins within a few days... if it's been 2 weeks then i start to email and ask for info... if she has lots of references that means she follows through! just be a little patient and i'm sure your pin will arrive...

I feel that sometimes shipping expectations are unreasonable... are we supposed to ship the pin out the minute we except a trade? i've always been under the impression that withing a day or 2 was acceptable... am I wrong? it's not like i go to the Post office every day...
 
miss.mouse said:
This happend with me and tiggermickey (Judy).
i sent my pin and it never got to her.
just give it a little more time.
Click to expand...

The difference here is that you communicated with one another. I am getting nothing.

Shoeguy1 said:
wow... you need to take 2 or 3 deep breaths and calm down... as a constant trader and father of 4 life almost always gets in the way... i almost never get pins within a few days... if it's been 2 weeks then i start to email and ask for info... if she has lots of references that means she follows through! just be a little patient and i'm sure your pin will arrive...

I feel that sometimes shipping expectations are unreasonable... are we supposed to ship the pin out the minute we except a trade? i've always been under the impression that withing a day or 2 was acceptable... am I wrong? it's not like i go to the Post office every day...
Click to expand...

So, you think I don't have a life? Well, I do, but I won't let the fact that life happens get in my way of communicating to people that I have made promises to. The fact is that she emailed me and told me the pin shipped. Same day I shipped to her. How much trouble is a DC#? If in fact, "life happened", all I am asking for is a response. Your trades, and your agreements, with whomever about how and when you ship are up to you to work out. I am speaking on the agreement that I made with this person.
 
Yeah...a few days really isn't enough time. I've noticed that mail can sometimes take longer depending on what direction it is going even though it should logicly be the same distance. Like for me, sometimes my stuff will go to east to Chicago before it goes back west.

Now...I somewhat wonder if it is the same person that I feel was holding pins hostage....I'd say wait until you get the package and see the post mark to get angry. If it is posted the day after yours arrives with no communication whatsoever....boo on that!
 
A response is not too much to ask IMHO! Just a thought - this trader is not away on vacation or something similar by any chance??

I have a couple of trades to send out, I have already told those good people that I will not get to the mailing office until Friday - communication is a wonderful thing!

I work on about a week to 10 days for UK - US & vice versa & do not start chasing until after 2 weeks has passed
 
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Sometimes depending on what is going on in life, it is just not possible! I have not heard back from a trader for over a week, wondering what the heck was going on. Heard back today and there was a good reason behind it. I would wait close to two weeks (however frustrating) before getting upset.
 
Yeah....you still need to be a little more patient BUT I don't always believe people's excuses either. I sometimes think people will use the "life" excuse just to cover up what they are really doing (potentially waiting for your pin first or fielding other offers). If I believed every excuse then out of pure civil responsibility I should just stop trading because apparently my trading activities have a direct correlation to catastrophic events!

It stinks, but it is a totaly judgement call on how to weed out the fibbers and those that really did have something going on. For me, an "I'm so sorry, I messed up" is far more forgivable than a laundry list of excuses. For some reason people seem to be reluctant to admit fault and have to provide a reason.....sometimes, you just forget!
 
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I would give it more time,I live in Indiana..and even in the USA it can take up to a week
Did you ever think she sent hers after she got yours?I have had that happen a couple times
They even used my LBE I sent the pin in..and Nicole,I have NO idea where that pin went
but I would trade with you again...it happens

Judy
 
Some valid points made. Could be vacation, I guess. If she waited until my pin was received, she should have stated she was doing so, IMHO. However, remember that she emailed me and told me she shipped it. So, saying one thing and doing another is the equivalent of lying in my book.
 
did they provide any sort of tracking or delivery confirmation number?

i always send it for both my protection and for the buyer as well, ever since i got burned on ebay many years back -- i sold an item, shipped via priority mail [which, to my experience has never gotten lost] -- but i sent it without a DC#, and the guy claimed he never received the item, so i had to refund his money for an expensive item that may or may not have gotten lost. so i was out money, and the original item :(
 
Cicada said:
did they provide any sort of tracking or delivery confirmation number?

i always send it for both my protection and for the buyer as well, ever since i got burned on ebay many years back -- i sold an item, shipped via priority mail [which, to my experience has never gotten lost] -- but i sent it without a DC#, and the guy claimed he never received the item, so i had to refund his money for an expensive item that may or may not have gotten lost. so i was out money, and the original item :(
Click to expand...

Well, see, I don't know the answer because she won't respond to my emails! I have DC for the pin I sent her.

I see that no one has addressed my original question regarding why we are not allowed to provide negative feedback on bad experiences. I only wonder this because it is entirely possible for someone who is intentionally trying to rip people off to make up references on that reference center. It isn't like eBay where it is tied to a transaction, or like here where both parties are registered users. I have just always wondered.
 
I have given people up to a month. Right now I have two trades from England, one over a month old. I will write them when I get back from vacation and see what is up then. They will both be over a month at that time. If she has tons of references that means she is a good trader. You wouldn't leave a positive reference for someone you had trouble with would you? It could be lots of things. A family emergency immediately comes to mind. If something happened to a family member of mine I would be at the hospital not checking my emails. Give it some time hun. There is plenty of time to get upset later if the need be. I agree that only being able to leave positive references isn't the best thing but unless you can go in and change a negative reference if you left it, I would not want to leave a negative one either. What if you chose in haste to leave a negative feedback and then discovered that her mother died or something horrible. I would want the ability to be able to change my feedback in those "life gets in the way" cases. I think many people react in haste. Talk to some of the people she has traded with that you know. Get their opinion of this person. I have been having trouble with my emails going to spam lately it could be something as basic as that who knows. I am sure things will work themselves out.
 
I understand your frustration, Spiffle. I agree with everyone who's saying that life happens and sometimes the post office is slow, but I do think (unless something Really Bad has happened) that it's wrong for the person not to reply to your email.

Last week I received a pin from Japan that should have been sent to me in June. There was a nice note inside, saying (I think, because it was in broken English) that the person's father had died (or gotten lost or been away or only just returned). The person apologized for the delay and included two extra pins and a dangling ornament. I'd sent my pin to them in June, as per the trade agreement, then never bothered to follow up with an email when I didn't receive a pin in return, because things take a LONG time to come from Japan sometimes. After a while, I just forgot about it! I'm glad now that I didn't fret over it, and I would have been very sad if I had left a negative reference anywhere (assuming there was a place to leave negative references).
 
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I sent a pin out priority post because I had some long days at the office and never made it to the post office...I figured it would get there with in the normal 2 days....it ended up taking 8 days to get there...I emailed the person letting them know I had expedited the pin only to have egg on my face...I'm not sure they believed me until the package actually arrived in the priority box....Lack of communication is a pet peeve for me too so I do understand the frustration.
 
I want to clear up my inquiry about leaving negative references. I did not mean to make it sound like I was running to leave one for this trader, but it has merely been a curiosity of mine and this situation made me wonder about it again.

Thanks for the input though.
 
I had a similar issue with a pin that I sent to Judy. I don't remember how long it actually took, I want to say like two weeks or something ridiculous. I had shipped several trades that same day and for some reason hers was stuck in Maryland even after the others had been delivered. I had DC on it so we could kind of track what was going on. If I remember correctly, I had to actually call the post office about it and magically it appeared on her doorstep the next day. So it's definitely possible that she really did send it and that it's just temporarily lost in transit and she may just not have access to e-mail right now.

On the note of negative feedback, you actually can do that using the itrader app on dpf if they are also a member. Otherwise I just don't leave a reference if I had a bad experience.

I hope your pin arrives soon!
 
I will put it like this. I may be the only person so far that has left neutral feedback. For those of you who have traded with me, you know that once we decide on the trade, I always Re-Cap the trade. You get: I get: and the hopeful mail date. I only use DC on rare occassions and that is because I too check references. However, the Dizpins boards / Pinpics did not allow us to leave feedback, only that the pins were received, be it a week, 2 weeks, a month later.

I have traded with a person on a few occassions and each time he promises me a certain date. I am th kind of person (and I will use EARTHBOUND as an example) who communicates well and if I trust someone, I dont wait to send their pins. The example is I am one of the people EARTHBOUNBD is trading with and through communication, I know my pins are being mailed on Friday. I still mailed theirs today.

I do agree however that communication is the key to success and when you have multiple emails over a couple of days leading to the trade and then once you have sent your pins NOTHING, it can get frustrating.

The person I traded with did not mail them as promised, he actually did wait until he received my pin. I left him neutral feedback and mentioned does not ship when promised. I think Negative feedback should be when you dont get a pin at all and Neutral for not so favorable but you did get the pin.

Packing could also be a reason for neutral feedback. 3 pins touching, lack of bubble wrap, etc. I sent my pins in good condition, I expect the same.

Now on the flipside, what if the person was in a car accident? Then how would you feel? Just an example. Now with the new feedback system we can say what happened and leave 3 types of feedback. Do not be afraid to be truthful. I was and while you will get your pins from this person, he does not keep his word.

The reason it upset me (and I usually dont care as long as I get them) is it was for a friend who was visiting and even if he waited 3 days to send it, I would have gotten it while they were still here.

I also emailed and the funny thing is, I saw this person posting on other sites so I know they had been online. Thats frustrating.......
Give it some time and once you get the pins, leave nuetral feedback, explain in 80 characters best you can and never trade with them again but let it be know to other traders.

Its a way to call people out without really calling them out. The feedback speaks for itself.
And for those of you who know me, If I get you trade finalized by 3:00pst, I usually mail the same day, next day at the latest.
Like a kid, I cant wait to get mine so I do the same for the receiving party too.
 
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Well, I have an update. But first, let me recap my story before I give you the response I got today.

Last week we agreed to a trade. I sent her an email stating that her pin went out. She replied that she too had SENT her pin. I email, ask for DC# after I know that my pin to her has been received. She doesn't reply. I email her 2 more times. TONIGHT, I get this reply (I copied and pasted it from my email. It has not been edited. She did not sign her name)

sORRY FOR DELAY FAMILY RETURNED FROM FLORIDA ON MONDAY WE HAD A CONCERT WAITING IN LINE ALL DAY. so i WILL GET TO MY TRADE TMO!

Now for all of you who want to jump on me and say you told me so (life gets in the way, etc.), I ask you ONE - why would you tell someone you sent the their pin if you didn't and weren't going to and TWO - what kind of explanation is THAT???
 
When I first started trading online, I thought it was weird that we couldn't leave negative references either. To be honest, I don't even bother checking the reference center because I don't see the point. If someone has a habit of not sending back a pin, the reference center won't tell me that. If they don't have any references, it doesn't really tell me anything because they could just be new. On the other hand, I can see how the option of leaving negatives can cause problems too (unfair negatives due to people jumping the gun, mail delays, emergencies, mail lost, etc.).

Anyways, I'm glad you finally got a response and I hope you get your pin soon!
 
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Spiff-I'm with ya sister. I have only had two trades/purchase go wrong, but when they go wrong...boy, do they!

The first, the pin never arrived to the person I was trading with (supposedly). Guess what? I never got my pin either. So basically she was waiting to get my pin (which is pretty hard to find) and when it supposedly doesn't show, she doesn't mail mine. She stopped responding to my emails and I decided it wasn't worth my stroke level blood pressure and just decided to let it go.

The second, I traded/purchased a large amount of pins. I mailed my pins in the trade agreement the day after we agreed and A MONTH later I still didn't have my pins. I finally had to get a mod to email the person and the pins were mailed that night. I then get it and a pin is missing! I will state that I truly think my person had a valid excuse to have a delay in shipping, but a month?? Especially when it was a large amount of pins/money tied up.

I guess my point is...when I agree to a trade, to me that means I am going to do my part within 24 hours OR if I can't do that, I either don't trade OR I let them know that I am busy until XX date and I'll mail then and make sure that is agreeable. To assume that I should know that someone is going to wait 10 days to mail their pin is not only nuts, it's rude. Don't agree to a trade if you don't have time to fool with it.

Glad that your pin is hopefully on it's way!
 
I am all about communication and there is really no excuse as I mentioned previously. I think I would rather they were honest and just said, I wanted to make sure to get my pin first. Then again, if they say they are going to ship on a certain day or that they did ship, then that is a lie and I dont like lies.

That is why I did leave negative feedback because the person told me he sent it and even gave me a DC. Anyone can give a DC but until it is given to the post office, it is not registered and valid. he flat out lied and was deceptive.

Like I said, if you get the pin but had an experience like that, leave negative and tell it in the comments, if you dont get your pin, then negative is ok.

I am going to start a new thread with yet another scenario.

I look forward to everyones comments.
 
It might be about frustration and communication however there is an important point for me here certainly take it as you will. I went into on line trading ten years ago in the knowledge that it wouldnt always work well. I knew (law of averages) I would be out pins at some point and that has in that time happened 3 times (I trade about 500 pins a year on line) stuff does happen to people and its important to remember that pins are not always the priority believe it or not. You need to be able to take the good with the bad if you feel you cant then I would cosnider whether or not you wanted to do on line trading after all some people dont. It is going to go pear shaped at some point.
Jacqui
 
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