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Is it time to leave negative feedback?

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Is it time to leave negative feedback?
PrincessBecky

PrincessBecky

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Hey everyone! I have a situation...

I made a trade with a fellow forum member back in July that has gone sour...we were communicating for a while, and now it seems that he no longer wants to respond to me. I have not been pushy at all, and have only asked this person for the DC# so I could simply see if the package he claimed to have sent me actually said "delivered" or not. If the DC# says "delivered" then at least I have proof that he sent the pin and it must have ended up on someone else's doorstep.

The thing is...he is a respected member of this forum and the pin trading community. He has great trading feedback, and has been publicly thanked on this forum more than once for being such a great trader, etc. Why is he being so great to everyone else and not responding to me?

And if anyone is interested this was a mystery stamp trade (my Donald chaser for his Ariel stamp). So if I never get the Ariel pin I won't cry...but that still doesn't make it right...

Here is the sequence of events:

7/11- Agreed to trade...told member I would mail next day...he said he would mail next day as well

7/12- Member says he got busy at work and will mail tomorrow...no big deal

7/28- Still have not received Ariel stamp so I send a message to member asking if he has mailed yet, and I asked for the DC# so I could track the package and see where it was...

7/29- Member says he has mailed the pin, but is on his way to Disneyland and will look for the DC# tomorrow

8/07- Still have not received pin or DC# from member so I send another PM asking again for the DC#

8/10- Member says he just saw my last PM and says he will send me the DC# when he gets off work, and even gives me a time! (4 PM PST)

8/11- Still have not received DC#, so I send another PM to member reminding him to send it to me when he gets a chance

At this point the member has completely stopped responding to me. And he logs on to this forum at least every other day so I know he has received my messages.

On 8/18 I send this message to member:

Hi XXXXXX,

It has now been over a month since we made the mystery stamp trade, and I still have not received the Ariel stamp.

You also have said 2 or 3 times now that you will send me the Delivery Confirmation number, and you never do.

I also notice that you log on to this website almost every day, but you still have not provided me with the DC # or will respond to me.

All I want to do is track this package...because if it really was mailed out like you said it was it should have turned up by now....which is why I would like the DC# so I can track it and see if it was lost...

I will give you one more week to respond, but if you have not provided me with the DC# for this trade by then I will be forced to leave negative feedback.

Thank you!

Becky

Still no response from member, and I really don't want to leave negative feedback for someone (I feel like he has been such a good trader to others that maybe he would want to resolve this?) so I wait a little longer...

On 8/30 I send another message:

Hi XXXXXX,

I see you are online now...I just wanted to let you know that I will be leaving negative feedback for you on Friday if you do not provide me with the Delivery Conformation for our trade by then. I do not want to do this but you said you were going to give me the DC# weeks ago and you still have not...nor have you responded to the past few messages I sent you.

Just thought you might like to know...

Becky

So it is obviously past Friday and I have still not left negative feedback for this member...but is it time? I feel like I have given him plenty of chances to respond to me by now.

What would you do? I don't want to leave negative feedback for someone but I feel like he has left me no choice...:sad:
 
I think the behavior is unacceptable and that negative feedback is deserved here. If we as a community always try to be nice by not wanting to leave negative feedback just because someone has a good history then this same thing could be happening over and over again and nobody would know. Even if you do end up getting the pin, you shouldn't have to hound someone like that to get and answer when they are clearly logging in. If I treated someone like that in a trade, I'd expect negative feedback.
 
erudolf said:
I think the behavior is unacceptable and that negative feedback is deserved here. If we as a community always try to be nice by not wanting to leave negative feedback just because someone has a good history then this same thing could be happening over and over again and nobody would know. Even if you do end up getting the pin, you shouldn't have to hound someone like that to get and answer when they are clearly logging in. If I treated someone like that in a trade, I'd expect negative feedback.
Click to expand...

I second this motion, especially if some of us newbies try to trade or purchase from him and the same happens :( That would not be nice at all...

<3 Laz
 
I would go ahead and name the person outright, hon. A lot of issues can be solved with just saying who the person is, and I think it's far easier for people to address the situation if they're being outright confronted (or for others to address it for said person). I know I would have been spared a fiasco when I was gone for three months due to injury and illness if I'd been named outright.

However, I will note, in those months gone, I was NOT on the forum every other day, was not checking PMs or Emails (or doing much of anything except trying to not die, heh). If said person is ONLINE and IGNORING YOU, that is definitely justification for not only calling them out, but for negative feedback. We do try to be nice and supportive, and while one never knows the situation, maybe seeing him named here online will get him to respond.

It could be as simple as he has no idea that he's being PMed! I know I've had that happen before (seems fishy with so many PMs but hey), and naming him outright might get you an explanation. Otherwise, naming who it is will let everyone know what's going on, will give him a fair chance to respond publicly, and will likewise not create an air of mystery about the person, with the need for PMing. Just my two cents.
 
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Constance said:
I would go ahead and name the person outright, hon. A lot of issues can be solved with just saying who the person is, and I think it's far easier for people to address the situation if they're being outright confronted (or for others to address it for said person). I know I would have been spared a fiasco when I was gone for three months due to injury and illness if I'd been named outright.

However, I will note, in those months gone, I was NOT on the forum every other day, was not checking PMs or Emails (or doing much of anything except trying to not die, heh). If said person is ONLINE and IGNORING YOU, that is definitely justification for not only calling them out, but for negative feedback. We do try to be nice and supportive, and while one never knows the situation, maybe seeing him named here online will get him to respond.

It could be as simple as he has no idea that he's being PMed! I know I've had that happen before (seems fishy with so many PMs but hey), and naming him outright might get you an explanation. Otherwise, naming who it is will let everyone know what's going on, will give him a fair chance to respond publicly, and will likewise not create an air of mystery about the person, with the need for PMing. Just my two cents.
Click to expand...

I second this sometimes it takes someone being named for them to respond to an unwanted situation. It could be a simple explanation or it could be something else but seeing as it has been a month it might be time to come out with a name
 
Constance I think that said person is ignoring pms because when I log in to the boards there is always a pop up window saying that a user has sent me a private message. So it is a little odd after that many months of not saying anything. I do tend to forget about a trade but the person on the other end will message me and I always feel so bad that I had forgotten about it. And I will always work with the person to get their end of the trade to them. There is one package to someone that should be arriving to them tomorrow. I had forgotten about the trade and they kindly send me a message reminding me about it and I worked with them to get it out to them. Now that I am back in school I am more able to get the packages out to people.

He has left you no choice. It has been three months (roughly) that the trade was first made so yes it is time to leave negative feedback. You gave him plenty of chances to get back to you about the trade. Have you talked to any of the mods about this? I know I had a question about a trade that seemed kinda off but I messaged Bricklayer about it and he said that it was fair and I proceeded with the trade because I trust Bricklayer and he knew that it was fair.
 
I would have agree with the majority here..

It is not good to ignore someone, no matter the length of time they wait, especially if they are online.

Vicki
 
Thanks for the responses everyone. :)

Per the request of a moderator I am not going to reveal the name of the member at this time.

He has been online tonight and was even in the chat room for a long time (I tried to log in to communicate with him but the chat room was a blank white screen for me?) so hopefully he will read my post and feel compelled to respond.

I will say though that I agree with what many of you have said...we shouldn't have to hound someone to complete a trade, and if a trade goes wrong the other party should at least respond and try to make the situation right.

All this member had to do was provide me with the DC#...that was it. If he gave me the DC# and the information said the pin was sent out and delivered, I would have just blamed the Post Office for delivering the package to the wrong address (I have received Netflix movies and bills for my neighbor...so I know it's possible) and that would have been the end of it. It is just the fact that he said he had the DC#, was going to send it to me numerous times, and then stopped responding altogether. And he is online right now!

I will keep everyone updated on what happens. And I do think I will leave negative feedback regardless of the outcome...that is the point of feedback in the first place. I had an unpleasant experience and I should be able to share that with others so they can decide for themselves if they would like to deal with this person. Like I said, he is well-liked by many people on here so I don't think my negative feedback will affect him too much.

And if anyone is interested the name of this member...I will respect the moderators by not naming the person right now, but if I leave negative feedback it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. :)
 
Did not see previous thread Princess Becky ! Sorry your going threw this . He had previously responded to your PMS , so he may have purposely turned it off . Hope you get it sorted and receive your pin or get your pin back . :hug:
 
Just left feedback.

Member finally responded...funny how it takes a thread like this for that to happen...but at least it happened. :)

Says he thought he sent the DC# but now can not find it, so he will send me back my pin and a pin off of my wants list.

And for those wondering why I left negative feedback even though this member decided to "make it right":

-I gave him plenty of time
-I warned him I was going to leave him negative feedback twice
-He obviously can respond to me via private message...so I know he has been ignoring my previous messages
-I have a feeling I would have never received a response from him at all if I had not created this thread

I'm going to bed...sorry if I caused any drama tonight!

looney_tunes_thats_all_folks.jpg
 
I seriously do not understand these types of threads.... Other than for the fact to make it public "HEY EVERYONE... IM GOING TO GO LEACE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK RIGHT NOW!!!! GO LOOK!"

If you're going to leave negative feedback, just do it. Don't drag it out in public for everyone to see. It's the same as posting the person's name right here in your thread.

Also. Yes. Let the "OMG, SEND ME THIS USERS NAME SO I CAN ADD HIM TO MY 'list' " rant of posts begin.

Le sigh...
 
PrincessBecky said:
Just left feedback.

Member finally responded...funny how it takes a thread like this for that to happen...but at least it happened. :)

Says he thought he sent the DC# but now can not find it, so he will send me back my pin and a pin off of my wants list.

And for those wondering why I left negative feedback even though this member decided to "make it right":

-I gave him plenty of time
-I warned him I was going to leave him negative feedback twice
-He obviously can respond to me via private message...so I know he has been ignoring my previous messages
-I have a feeling I would have never received a response from him at all if I had not created this thread

I'm going to bed...sorry if I caused any drama tonight!

looney_tunes_thats_all_folks.jpg
Click to expand...

I agree, negative feedback was warranted. It should not take a public thread for someone to want to make it right. It should have happened long ago! Glad it was finally resolved for you though!
 
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