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Trade Auctions...People bidding for others and / or rooting for them to win...

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Trade Auctions...People bidding for others and / or rooting for them to win...
As I've said ;p, there will always be people who disagree and agree with something. You'll have people who are against it, people who are for it.

There will always be "someone" unhappy with an outcome/response. While this is discussed and those who usually bid for others feel they have to stop and will no longer bid for someone else (as they have so far because they DO see you acting like a victim), then leads to those people who used to bid for others get upset and start their own rant or stop all together and are then ALSO upset and hurt etc etc. To which they then have "followers" who are against those that started the whole "it's wrong" to begin with thread.

So either way, it's all the same in the end no matter which way it is

There will always be those against and those for it, but neither side is the "right" one. Just remember that
 
I personally do not allow add ons in my auctions. I just don't think it's fair. I think that it's nice for people to bid and hen zap someone but stacking up one persons bid just doesn't seem right. I can't really explain it, it just the way I feel I guess.
 
I had never looked at this from the angle of the other bidder. I can see where they could feel ganged up on and frustrated. I have always just thought it was a nice gesture for someone to help someone else get a pin through an auction. As far as I know, it has not occurred in any of my auctions though. I have only noticed it in the Tangled designer princess pin everyone went nuts over. I didn't know it was happening in other auctions as well. I see both sides of this one. It is really nice for someone to want to help their friend but not at the expense of someone else is how I look at it. That means I would vote for not being able to add onto someone's bid when all is said and done.
 
I think from now on I will not allow add ons I have never had any one do that in one of my auctions but as I said previously I did have it done on a pin I was bidding on
 
Here's how I view it. If the auctioneer allows it, then it's not "wrong", per se. That said, as someone who doesn't have many high end traders (and lives in Kansas...) it IS sometimes discouraging to see other people adding onto others' bids. Maybe it's because I'm jealous... I dunno. I sometimes think "why bother bidding" because I don't have many "good" pins. I don't think that adding on to others' bids is in ANY way supposed to be a slight to other bidders. I think it's done out of pure, honest, kindness. A PM bid would probably be better, simply because it's not as overt. At the same time, it might call into question the authenticity/honesty of the bids.

I don't think there is a clear answer here. But, Becky, I do understand how you feel, and I'm sorry you feel that way. ***Hugs***
 
I'm a bit torn by this..

On one hand I can see why people would think its OK, but on the flip side I can definitely see why others would get upset. I personally think that openly rooting for a specific bidder to win in an auction is rude! If you want to give good wishes to the person running the auction as a friendly gesture that's fine, but it isn't OK to call out a specific bidder and openly praise them in the auction. If its your friend than message them with best wishes. Although we are all pretty friendly here, there's still "cliques," and auctions should still follow some form of etiquette; its still a business transaction at the end of the day. I'm sure those that run the auctions don't mind the occasional "good luck," but their auction threads shouldn't be flooded with compliments, but rather bids.

As far as placing bids for others goes...I think that it really does take away from the trading experience for others. As much as I wish I could live near a park, I don't, so unfortunately I don't have the opportunity to make lots of friends at pin trading events. I'm only able to get what I can, when I can, where I can and for the most part I have to pay big bucks for my pins. It's not fun, but its a hobby that I love. It does bother me too when I see others getting bids placed on their behalf because had I been part of the "in crowd" I might have people bidding for me as well.

I just wish auctions and sales were as fair as possible here. Even though I sit here for countless hours daily looking through the ocean of threads for people selling or trading pins I desperately desire, I still have to beat the mad rush of people that share my same interest in pins. Than to top it off those people have other DPF member's who are searching just as dilligently as I am and they go ahead and forward thread info or contact the seller/trader on behalf of others. Now instead of me having that equal opportunity of attain my desired pin I've lost yet another chance because a friend of a friend jump in front of me to get their friend a grail. So another relatively new member gets shoved out the way.

I've come to terms with these common occurrences on DPF. Instead of crying myself to sleep I just say there will always be more pins in the future and hopefully someone who's willing and kind enough to help another fellow trader out will come my way in the near future.
 
I have been on all three sides of this. As the auctioneer encountering add bids for other members, as the bidder watching other people help "my competition " and as the bidder being helped. It puts me in a spot that is very hard to explain. I have rarely if ever put a rule on my auctions stating "no assistance." Emotions run high when "assistance bids" start happening.

No-one likes it when the "competition" has an advantage. Fair or unfair, it kinda sucks. And no matter how we try, there is always the thought in your head, as someone gets assistance, "Why not me?" There is often some resentment.... In fact, I have received PM's basically telling me that people bidding for me is unfair and I should pull from an auction.

Everyone who get assisted in these auctions is put in a very hard position; turn down the offers and look ungrateful or accept and encounter some stigma from your competition. There's also the fact that typically, assistance bids don't come out except for highly wanted, HTF "Grail" type pins. If you knew you could not beat the current #1 bid, and suddenly someone added to your bid for you, you would be ECSTATIC! It would be like someone tossing cash into your paypal so that you could increase your max bid in EwBay.

Which brings me to my point.... Yeah, I have a point. lol

There are no rules against assisting someone. And i have benefited from that, and lost because of that. I cherish the pin I won recently from the 4 FANTASTIC people who added to my bid. I am also deeply grateful to the people who assisted my competition in that auction because it leveled the playing field.

Perhaps what could be done, is a rule made that people may assist in a bid by contacting the bidder and offering pins for them to bid, rather than publicly saying, "I add this pin to bidder A" which can cause resentment?


Side note:: comments on an auction such as "I am rooting for so and so" I am sure are not meant to hurt anyone's feelings. But likely more of a friendly bump of the thread.
 
I know for a fact you are talking about our auction.

I did ask the auctioneer to disregard any help
I got (1 bid)
I do feel that the auction was won fairly, I bid 12 pins a bolo and a podm.

The person who was cheering us on was a good friend.
We had literally talked about the pin before it was put up for auction!

We did not mean to offend you.
The bid we put out was 100% our pins.

As far as other auctions go, I have donated to the cause
Of others trying to get a pin they want and don't see anything wrong
With it.

We have tried to help people out and notice that people reciprocate this
One way or another whether it be a zap or someone helping us in an auction.
 
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First, I never said the auction wasn't fair. We both bid hard and it was definitely a fight to the finish. I would have congratulated you but the auctioneer closed it right after they announced that you won. I am not bitter or anything...it is an auction and you win some and lose some. Even if I had won that auction I would have started this thread, because I am curious about how others felt about this practice.

I have been thinking about this issue for awhile, and it just so happened that two of the auctions I bid on today (yes, the one with you being one of them) had bidding-for-others on them and I was curious how others felt about the situation. I was just trying to get people to see the other side where no one is bidding for you or helping you obtain a pin that you really want.

As far as the person cheering you on, I thought I was friendly with that person as well...we have both been on this board for a while and I have nothing but respect for them...it just made me a little sad (and also brought up another valid question I had) as to how people felt about people "rooting" for others in auctions.

And for the last time, I am not offended, nor should I be pitied, or looked at as the victim by anyone! LOL I stated my opinions on the matter, some seem to see where I am coming from and agree with me, some see the other side and disagree with me, and some are torn. I respect everyone's opinions and this is exactly why I started this thread. I am not trying to start fights or anything...I just thought it was a valid discussion.

I hope you didn't take offense to my post at all because that was not my intention.
 
Personally, I would rather have the added bids kept in secret. If anyone wants to help another friend win, I can't see why any member shouldn't be allowed to add to their list, but it should be through the bidder and be sent in with the winning bid. It is disheartening when a bidder with limited resources bids, and a competing bidder gets help from one of the members who seems to have a bottomless well of pins. I'm only expressing my views and am not saying it to hurt ANYONE'S feelings, and I am sure that it is being done only out of goodwill. We have some wonderful caring people in our group. I personally have bid in only two auctions and won one of them so I am doing OK, but I have watched quite a few and had been a bit intimendated by the volume and value of the pins bid. I do not know if there have been any last minute bids like this that have changed the outcome, but I know I would feel pretty bad if I was winning and someone else boosted a bid for another. I'm just sayin'. **he sits down**
 
As mentioned previously, I feel that if you wish to "help" somebody with their bids that you pm the person bidding (that you wish to help) and offer the pins to them to bid for themselves.
 
So perhaps the solution is, no public add-ons for people's bids? And people PM one another if they want to help? And all of this is up to the discretion of the auctioneer?
Maybe we should at least establish a rule that this situation must be addressed in the OP of each auction, so that there is no confusion and no hurt feelings?
I just never thought about it like it is being pointed out in here, and it makes me sad! I don't want people's feelings to continue to be hurt in the future. But I think the option of people helping, if they want, should still be available, as long as it is handled privately and if all parties agree.
 
I have thought the same thing. It seems since I have been a member here this forum goes through phases and cycles and I feel like this is one of them.

For example....no one really did "games" until Goody Moe started and now we have an entire sub division of the board dedicated to it.

When those ad on bids started (I think we all know the particular auction when it all started.....)
I was taken aback by the generosity of some people and what they were offering for OTHERS to receive a pin. I thought it was amazing....and I also thought it would just be for that ONE auction. When I started to see it in other auctions as well I thought...."here we go, another phase..." and I thought about the new people who wouldn't have people bidding for them because no one knows them, and how unwelcoming it would make this forum seem...also, you have people kinda griping about how it hurts their feelings that so many other people are rooting for others, and not them.

Lets be honest....most of the auctions get *amazing* bids anyway. I have hosted many auctions where I was MORE then thrilled with the generosity of the members here. I TOTALLY understand that not everyone can just go to the bay, and PURCHASE a pin they want....they have to work with what they already have because of the tough economy. And frankly sometimes the pins on their grail list don't come about often....but when we have people stacking and stacking and stacking it kinda gets out of control!

That's just my 2 cents. I am not trying to sound offensive....this is just how I have felt about it since I first noticed this stacking.
 
I saw this thread and felt awful, because I was the cheer-leader, but it was meant as an insider joke and I never intended to hurt or alienate anyone.

Boogieman said:
The person who was cheering us on was a good friend.
We had literally talked about the pin before it was put up for auction!
Click to expand...

There is a big age difference between this wonderful young couple and me. So much so, I am old enough to be a mom to them, but Marisa somehow makes me forget this

We have indeed talked about this pin about 2 weeks ago and I was so surprised to see it up for auction on DPF. I debated if I should be bidding on it (for myself) and I reluctantly offered 2 pins because it was too good to miss. I was almost relieved that my pins did not get any interest from the auctioneer and I stopped bidding after that.

I was only clowning around with Marisa & Sebe with my comment. God knows with the pins they offered, they did not need any help or cheer from anyone else. I totally understand how my joke can look as I am cheering them on, but it was really not meant that way.

I deeply, sincerely and profusely apologise to all bidders on who participated in the jumbo Snow White auction if my comment offended or hurt anyone.

PrincessBecky said:
As far as the person cheering you on, I thought I was friendly with that person as well...we have both been on this board for a while and I have nothing but respect for them...
Click to expand...

Oh Becky, right back at you! You are one of the very first people who traded with me on dizpins, every now and then I do come to you to discuss pin values, and above anything else I love, love, love the calm, collected and logical way you post.

Again, I really am sorry if my joke hurt you or made you feel uncared for.
 

Hey Selen, you really don't need to apologize...you didn't break any rules or do anything wrong. Now that it is a new day I have re-read my original post, and perhaps I was being a little dramatic about it all...although I still stand by my opinions on the matter. It is just disheartening (not speaking for others in an auction, but for me) when you make a large bid, the other person makes a large bid, and then right after you get a post exclaiming, "Go...insert member name here...gooooo!", and they get an add-on from another member. Without knowing the context, it looks like you and others are encouraging the other member to win...but how does it make everyone else feel that bid on that auction? Maybe I don't post as much as some people, but I REALLY wanted that pin, and another member that bid on that auction had that pin on her grails list...so the whole point of my post was just to get others to think about EVERYONE bidding in the auction and how they may react to these add-ons and such. And again, I do think it is a really nice gesture and is not against the rules. I am not upset with you or anything and I hope you didn't take offense to my post, I just had to get my opinions out there on this subject. :hug:


I think the original auctioneer, Goofy_Moe...has summed up how I feel pretty well...


After I made this thread, I received a few PMs from people stating that they agree with me, but did not feel comfortable posting their feelings publicly. This just reinforces the fact (in my mind) that this practice makes certain members feel alienated and not want to participate.

I even received a PM from a longtime cherished member that hardly ever posts anymore, and they stated that one of the main reasons they choose not to post much anymore is due to the rooting-for-others in auctions and how crazy they have become. I would hate to think that someone that truly loves pins and has been trading longer than most of us is reluctant to post on DPF now because of all the drama and "clique-like" scenarios that arise here.

And like others have said, those that don't live near a park and can't meet people in person only have forums like this to share their love of pins (and attempt to obtain pins for their collection through trading and auctions), so they are already at a disadvantage...they can't go to the parks or DSF and buy pins at cost, and then when they try to obtain them through an auction and see friends bidding for each other I'm sure it can't help but turn them off a little.


I would personally like to see this rule added. I think it is much more courteous to everyone involved in an auction if add-ons are kept to PMs. That way, those that don't receive help wouldn't know any better, and it gives the impression that the auction is an even playing field for everyone. Even if it is happening "behind closed doors", I would rather be oblivious to it than have it done in my face...but that's just me.

Some people obviously feel differently and encourage bidding-for-others and have no problem with it. And there are no rules stating that add-ons aren't allowed, so unless the mods change their minds and decide to change the rules I guess it is up to the individual auctioneer to decide if they should allow this practice or not.

I have already noticed that since this thread was started, one auctioneer stated that bidding-for-others is allowed and encouraged, and another auctioneer stated that bidding-for-others was not allowed in their auction. So their is clearly a division on this subject.

Bottom line is...there is not a rule about add-ons, and I do not think anyone has bad or malicious intentions when they are bidding for others...I do believe it is purely done to help others out as a friendly gesture. I just wanted fellow members to think about EVERYONE in that auction (not just the people they are friendly with), and how much the other bidders may want that pin as well, and how they may feel when they see one or two people getting help and encouragement and they are not.
 

Add-on bids popped up way back, they are not recent. I think this very same point was brought up in another thread similar to yours a month or so after the auctions started on DPF. The opinions on that have been divided back then too. Although, I don't think it was brought to mods attention specifically, and I do not expect them to read every single thread.

I do see both sides of the coin on this issue and I whole-heartedly agree that auctions and games should be fun. That is why I insert funny stuff whenever I can into my auctions, or I go clowning around on some other's threads (like Cindi's recent game thread). Maybe it is time to officially send a PM to mods/admin and ask them to revise the auction rules and make an addendum regarding extra help from friends.

And absolutely no worries. I did not take offense. I just felt really bad that my silly joke made you feel disheartened.
 
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Ok, this might open a can of worms, which is not my intention. However I feel that the statement quoted needs to be addressed.... The spots I BOLD hylighted are the ones that I am responding most to.

First: regarding not feeling comfortable posting. I do not blame them, this is a touchy subject and emotions can get out of hand on a thread like this. Despite the fact that you, the OP want it to stay calm ((I have had my fair share of that sort of thread go boom.)) I do not think that feeling alienated has much to do with the urge to avoid exploding a thread. I didn't get those PM's, so I do not know what is stated, but I want to point out that there are many reasons to not want to post on this sort of thread.

Next, the meat of my concerns. "all the drama and "clique-like" scenarios that arise here"
  • OK... the DRAMA that arises on here is typically, if you read everything (which I try to do) started by and perpetuated by about 10+/- people. Over and over these same people start drama, cause drama, instigate drama, or take offense at mundane non-offensive comments ((I can hear it in my head now because of the statement I just made actually, please don't, I am not aiming double barrel guns here, I am simply noticing a trend))
  • Cliques.... In any large group, like this forum, there will be smaller groups that hang out with, associate with, or consider themselves a circle of friends. Nothing will ever change that. Regardless of what we would all like a Utopian society to be like, those who have the same opinions/feelings are going to gravitate to each-other. Show me a scenario where a small "clique" caused a good, contributing member of this forum to leave. Seriously please, show me one of these "clique like" scenario's.

Finally, Friends will bid on friends auctions. IDK about every single auction. Because if the pin doesnt interest me, no matter who the auctioneer is, I do not bid. I auction pins weekly. I chose my winner based on what bid i like best, or on one of my bizzaar point systems. Regardless of who is bidding. Only ONCE have I ever chosen a different winner than my pin preference and that was because I knew the person bidding had sent people counterfeits in trades, I didnt trust the bid.

An auctioneer will chose the bid they like best, these are not money auctions. I seriously doubt that the same people are winning auctions over and over solely based on friendship status. Because bluntly, that is not in the best interest of the auctioneer. Auction house gives the auctioneer the advantage folks. People in general have to over bid to win an auction, especially for a high end pin. Why would an auctioneer chose the same bid winners over and over if those were not the best pins offered? To imply that is hurtful to ALL the people who use the auction house as a form of trading.

Psychotically small print::If you managed to survive reading this whole thing you are AWESOME. If your replying without reading the whole thing well... pause and go back to finish reading first ok? Because this is not meant to attack anyone, and chances are if your replying without reading it all, it's because you are upset with something I said. I did not discuss the topic of bidding for others here because I made my opinion earlier in another reply. But I did feel this concern needed to be addressed.My post is devoid of smileys because it is a serious concern.
 

+++++1

... and as one of the people who is at a disadvantage, that's just the way it is - I can certainly relate to the feelings expressed about being a bit of an outsider, but that is the reality and it shouldn't stop people from participating in the forum and the hobby to the extent that they can.

I have chosen to engage in a hobby which will cost me more time, more effort, and far more money, than if I lived near the parks/DSF. That means that others will be able to out-bid me more often than not, and so be it - but I have better access to maple sugar candy .

There will always be inequalities in any activity, particularly one which draws people from such diverse places and circumstances. Some people can get pins at retail, others can't; some have enough money to spend on the pins they want, others don't; some have a circle of good friends on the forum, others don't; etc.; etc.; etc.

I can't expect to be part of some of the 'inner circles' of friends here on the forum, simply because I'm not at the PTN's every other month or camping out overnight with other members to get new releases...but I can still enjoy the forum, share opinions, talk to some people who share my interest, maybe get to know a few of them a little better, try to help someone out occasionally, and learn a lot.
 
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Very valid (and optimistic) points.

You too Psycho Pixie!
 

This.


And this. Except in my case, we have plenty of good BBQ and BBQ sauce
 
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